October Newsletter from Commanding Officer and Dog Robber

Although arguably not as well known as Stephenie Mayer’s saga, our very own Twilight series ended with an equally scary and adrenalin-fuelled  rush of a race, engagingly described by Pete Taylor (check the web-site for his report), and witnessed by the only other two Lasers around, Stu Bromidge and Mike Atkinson (rescue boat duty).  These rather climactic events led to the final podium table looking like this:

 

Pos.

Name

Pts

1

Ann Keates

4

2

Pete Taylor

5

3

Mike Atkinson

5

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well done to Mike for sticking to his tradition of always doing a duty on the last race of the Twilight series even though this is the third time that his final position has been compromised by so doing. This year he is demoted to 3rd place (2nd loser in the eyes of his daughters!), by virtue of Peter Taylor having a better last race finish (1v2)!

 

The winter series is, of course, well under way, although the weather so far has been decidedly unwintery, in terms of temperature if not wind strength. After 5 races, 38 boats have turned out at least once, and a respectable 14 boats currently have a series result. Average turn-out, so far is a highly commendable 17 boats.  Andrew Hartley (6pts) and Iain Reid (7pts) are currently vying for top spot but waiting in the wings is Roberta (9pts). Whilst not wishing Iain any misfortune, the prospect of a head-to-head Hartley clash in the last race of the series with all to play for is an enticing one, to say the least! Another family battle is raging in this series: the Wakefield boys are in town. It has to be said, though, that they are trying their hardest to avoid each other, only competing on the same race day twice. So far, the score is one race victory each – Race 4 to Christian (6th v 13 th) and race 5 to Gary (8th v 13th). Watch this space to see if the fur will fly! John Lyons and his son have had one battle in the series so far with John striking a blow for the dads; but only just (7th v 8th)!

 

So what have we got to look forward to in the next few weeks? Well, there is the faint possibility that the Laser quiz team might win something on Monday nights – why not join us? Give Captain Colston a ring.  The Laser AGM has been announced by e-mail already but just in case it has slipped your notice, the meeting will be held on Saturday 26th of November beginning at 7.00p.m. This should give us plenty of time to fit in the traditional curry afterwards – please let Ann know if you are intending to join us so we can avoid doing a ‘Colston’ and give the restaurant a reasonably accurate estimate of numbers. And before you accuse me of being unfair, I do know it wasn’t Colston’s fault!

 

Finally, we come to the ‘Sailor of the Month’ award. For being only one of two sailors to have sailed in every one of October’s races and never finishing lower than 4th in any of them, the Sailor of the Month for October is: (cue endless repetitive musical beats!), Roberta Hartley.

 

Sail fast and fair,

Ann & John

September Newsletter from Commanding Officer and Dog Robber

I EXPECT MANY OF YOU, might be asking yourself the question, (as did my namesake), “Where are the songs of spring?”, as we enter into the ‘season of mists and mellow fruitfulness’. Yes, indeed autumn has begun and summer over, so let’s dwell a little on what has passed.

NATIONAL NUDE DAY was in July, and, as Michael Caine might have observed, I bet not a lot of people know that. But one who most certainly does is Courtenay, and I’m sure he’ll be willing to tell you his story, especially if you offer to buy him a pint. I am sworn to secrecy but I can say that I used to be fond of roller skating in my youth but I can no longer look back on those days without a startling image entering my head. What’s this got to do with sailing? Well, this subject arose in great après sailing conversation on our last Monday evening. The formal series had finished the previous week, and, in an attempt to defeat the onset of early autumnal twilight, we started just after 5pm, running a series of six, fun races with sailors joining in when they could. We were blessed with perfect sailing conditions so somewhere in the region of twenty sailors joined in the fun. How many were laughing, when Chris Guy was moving more quickly than them as he sailied 3/4s of the run backwards, is a moot point! There were some liquid prizes on offer for race winners and other outstanding performers, e.g. Chris, already mentioned, and Becky Walters, for the most graceful capsize to have been seen in many a year. There was a number of race winners, so it’s invidious to pick out one, but I’m going to anyway. Well done to Sheila Burton who won the last race of the evening (with only a tiny bit of help from the Race Officer). Both Sheila and Pam Woodall were able to experience the beauty of free air on the beat – lucky them I say!

FOR THE RECORD, the Monday Series (part 2) was won by Roberta, followed by Ann and then Trevor Annels who managed to oust Colston from his podium position. Courtenay failed to repeat his success of 8th from last year (by two points), finishing 9th, and I had a similar failure in not making the top ten, finishing 11th, one point behind Bob Cudmore who seemed to go AWOL for the last half of the series! Luke Normington must be really pleased with his improvement, finishing in 15th place, up from 26th last year. With 58 sailors sailing at least once and 19 sailors achieving a full series, Monday night sailing continues to be our most popular format.

 

THE WEDNESDAY SERIES HAS FINISHED and my prediction that we should watch out for Ann was only marginally out – I hadn’t factored in a guest appearance from Giles. The duel between Roger and Mike was as closely fought as ever. On this occasion Mike’s boat must have banged the right corner more often than not because he was victorious! 41 sailors made at least one start and nine achieved a series. Here they are:

 

1

Mike ATKINSON

15

6

Trevor ANNELS

46.1

2

Roger HAKES

16

7

Peter TAYLOLR

48

3

Ann KEATES

19

8

Mark SCOTT

56

4

Iain Reid

29

9

Stuart BROMIDGE

57

5

Colston NICHOLS

30

 

 

Last year 51 sailors made at least one appearance and 10 sailors achieved a series. Last year’s top three included the same names but Mike and Ann have swopped positions this year.

 

YOU WILL ALREADY have heard some of the stories from POOLE WEEK but you may not be aware of the various prize winners. This year, although we had a joint start for Standards and Radials, the results were separated. Below is a list of the Standard prize winners:

 

1

Roger HAKES

11

2

Andrew HARTLEY

22

3

Giles KUZYK

29

4

Mike ATKINSON

31

5

Bob CUDMORE

39

 

Not many surprises here you might think but if we had managed to sail in the very light winds of Wednesday and Thursday, I’m sure Roger would have been anxiously looking over his shoulder. Whether he was worried about Andrew or Giles, I’ll leave you to decide. Had Mike been able to sail in Sunday’s wind the leaderboard may well have had a different complexion. One other piece of news was John Lyon’s defeat at the hands of his son (by 2 places and 6 points). Is this a sign of things to come John?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now for the Radials:

 

POS.

NAME

PTS.

1

Daniel WIGMORE (Grafham)

8

2

Roberta HARTLEY

20

3

Ann KEATES

20

4

George KENNEDY

29

Is it a surprise to see Ann and Roberta on equal points? Not if you are a student of history it isn’t! You can see by the numbers that Daniel (a young buck if ever I saw one) had things pretty much his own way but both Ann and Roberta did manage to best him – Roberta did so twice!.

Although, not in the prize winners’ list, mention must be made of Emma Hartley

who had a  fantastic day in Friday’s two races, finishing with a 3rd and a 2nd.

She’s another sailor who would have profited by sailing in the very light winds of

Wednesday and Thursday. I know at least one sailor who is very glad this didn’t

happen. Finally, well done to Gayle Moore who came 4th in the last race but also

commiserations for capsizing when in the lead – there’s always next year Gayle.

 

THE WEEK-END OF THE 10th & 11th saw the Laser Masters Qualifiers event come to our club. It was a great chance to see just how good you can be in later life! Admittedly most of the Standard sailors looked like they were still the right side of forty! I don’t know if you have sailed a Standard rig on the run in 28kts of breeze but I can tell you it’s an interesting experience. Parkstone’s version of the ‘three amigos’, myself, Courtenay and Gary Wakefield, all had ‘interesting’ moments in those first two windy races. Judging by the carnage at the gybe and leeward marks, we weren’t the only ones with a tad of steerage difficulties, talking of which, I should apologise publicly to Courtenay for calling him a lot of naughty names when I was on the end of what I thought was a particularly vicious luff in one howling gust as we approached the leeward mark – I discovered later that luffing was the last thing on his mind at that particular moment: only survival. Shame he didn’t manage it! Spare a thought for poor, visiting David Casale, who, at the gybe mark, managed to injure himself to such an extent that a visit to A&E was required. I don’t know how much blood it takes to fill up a club rib, but Martin Foden and James Hartley will be able to give you a pretty good estimate as it was they who transported the unlucky victim to the shore. None of this affected Bob Cudmore and Andrew Hartley who sailed in these big winds like Aeolus himself! The rest of the weekend was a much less breezy affair giving lighter sailors like Iain Reid the chance to shine, taking line honours in the fifth race. Such is the ephemeral nature of fame, however, a capsize in the very light sixth race meant he had to fight his way around the course with the Dog Robber. It was a case of after the Lord Mayor’s show and all that! Congratulations to Dave Pointer who jumped into the Laser only a couple of weeks ago and managed to walk off with a prize- I think, though, he should show a little more respect to those of us who’ve been trying to master the boat for ages.

22 RADIALS TURNED UP FOR THIS EVENT, including some illustrious names so the racing was fierce. Your Commanding Officer had a very successful week-end, finishing 3rd, winning two races in the process which meant, satisfyingly beating one of those illustrious names who happens to be a full-time professional sailor. One member of our fleet remarked that it was like watching the Ann of old – maybe she’s our version of Oscar Wilde’s creation, Dorian Grey? Mention must be made of Ninian Eadie,from Queen Mary,  sailing at the ripe old age of 75+ and managing a very creditable 12th place. I mustn’t forget, either, our very own Hayley Hughes who made her way serenely around the course during those first two windy races – looking back twelve months Hayley, there would have been a very different outcome. Bob and Andrew weren’t the only ones enjoying the wind. Pete Taylor had great fun and some success too, achieving finishes of 7-10-7 on that first day. He carried on his enjoyment well into the evening drinking until there was no-one left to drink with! He’s not a great fan of poetry I think but I can almost hear him saying to Rachel the following morning:

  “My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains

  My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk.”

Well done Pete, you may not be a legend in age, like Ninian, but you are one in status!

ALL THAT REMAINS TO BE DONE, is the small matter of our sailor of the month award. Hayley was well in the frame for her heroics in the first two races of the Masters event but she’s already a winner so has disqualified herself. Dave Pointer also had a shout but too much success in his Laser sailing career might not be good for him! I did consider awarding it to Mike Atkinson for being such a good dad and missing a great day’s racing to carry out parenting duties. But, for her fantastic efforts on and off the water during the month, September’s sailor of the month award goes to Ann Keates. And, in case, you think I have a vested interest, I solemnly swear in public that I will not be the one to drink her prize!

Sail fast and fair,

Ann & John 

 

 

 

August Newsletter from Commanding Officer and Dog Robber

I HAVE NEVER SEEN the film ‘Groundhog Day’ but having watched Andrew Hartley sail his way to another trophy, this time in the Saturday Summer Mini Series, I feel my appreciation of that cinematic production has been enhanced.

Groundhogday2005.jpgIf, like me, you didn’t know that ‘Groundhog Day’ was an actual event; take a look

 

 

 

 

Also, if you didn’t know what a Groundhog looks like, here’s a picture-it looks pretty much like a Marmot to me.

It has to be said, though that Andrew didn’t have things all his own way. After five races (with one discard counting), the top three sailors were on 8 points. So, Andrew won on a countback system that has several levels, all of which were needed to separate the second and third boats (Roger and Mike Atkinson respectively). When I tell you that Bob Cudmore came fourth, you might think that it was quite windy, but it really wasn’t, although Roberta coming fifth, sailing in her radial rig, (hence being first radial) might disagree. 19 boats turned out and seemed to have good racing and good fun. One of the problems with such short racing though is that the windward mark, on the first lap can get a bit crowded. I hear on the jungle drums that some naughty people didn’t do a turn or turns after infringing – I refer you to our sign off motto! Try to get on the water for the next mini series which will be held in the Autumn. The previous two winners were Colston, two years ago, in the inaugural event, and last year, wait for it, Andrew Hartley. For Bill Murray’s sake, get out and make sure Andrew doesn’t win!

THE MONDAY SERIES part 2 is reaching its climax with some familiar names at the top of the pile. Nick Morgan has failed to capitalise on his earlier form by virtue of not turning up! No doubt he’ll have a reasonable excuse like family holidays etc. With four scheduled races left, Colston and Ann are going to have to pull out all the stops if they are going to prevent Roberta from gaining top honours. Likewise, Courtenay will need to get his act together if he is going to improve on his final position of 8th in last year’s series. Mind you, he is in the frame for at least one prize or another since he has possibly capsized more times in this series than the rest of the fleet put together. Is this some sort of sub-conscious attempt to get back to the antipodes, Courtenay, I ask myself. You won’t have failed to notice that my attempts to enter the realms of the top ten are currently unsuccessful (as indeed they were last year!), but as I learnt on the radio this morning, if I reach for the moon and fail, I’ll still be amongst the stars – quite a long way though from the shining light of Roberta, nearly all of whose discards equal or better my best race result so far- I can drink pints faster than she can though, so there! (recent form suggests this is an idol boast –ed)

 

I’M NOT QUITE sure what it is about the Wednesday series but there always seems to be an air of mystery about the results. I notice that this year’s race results recorder was making a plaintive plea this week for help with compiling the results since the Race Officer had decided to slap a ‘D’ notice on them! So, with the sort of disdain that Ian Hislop shows for the risk of being sued I have decided to publish the top ten for Wednesday night sailing (other publications* are available).

It all looks pretty tight if you ask me. Don’t rule out your Commanding Officer, who is, at the moment, having to count a DNC. A light evening on the last race (31st of August), and one which sees Mike and Roger in trouble could well provide a surprise- I realise that describing Ann winning a series as a surprise is a bit disloyal, but you know what I mean don’t you?

Rank

Sail

No

Name

Total

Nett

1st

71

Mike

A

136.0

15.0

2nd

208995

Roger Hakes

197.0

16.0

3rd

22

Iain

Reid

255.0

29.0

4th

204966

Col

N

152.0

30.0

5th

72

Trevor Annels

374.1

46.1

 

 

6th

14

Peter Taylor

349.0

51.0

7th

203298

Mark Scott

325.0

56.0

8th

16

Stuart

B

233.0

57.0

9th

208999

Ann Keates

386.0

58.0

10th

74

Bob Cudmore

398.0

70.0

 

 

 

 

The picture below gives a fine indication of the sort of weather we enjoyed during Poole Week and of the type of après sailing activities we indulged in. A slightly more salacious picture of the nocturnal exploits of some of the fleet appears on Facebook!

All of this was much to the liking of Roger Hakes who was the winner of Poole Week in the Laser Standard! More details will appear in September’s issue but before I sign off, I must mention Hayley Hughes sailing all three races on Sunday in a 25 Kts breeze (one gust was recorded at 29Kts!), despite going for a swim- 8 times! For this reason, Hayley is our ‘Sailor of the Month’ for August.

 

Sail fast and fair,

Ann & John

July Newsletter from Commanding Officer and Dog Robber


 POOLE WEEK is fast approaching. We have twenty three entries so far, (including Radials). The 21st to 26th August is the week you need to keep free – you know you want to! Make sure you take full advantage of the early bird discount and get your entry in by August 8th.  Gary Wakefield will not be the only sailor interested to know that thanks to Adidas, there will be a prize draw each evening, although I hope for his sake that events run a little more smoothly for him this year!

 

Monday

Points

Wednesday

Points

Saturday

Points

1

Nick Morgan

5

Ann      Keates

11

Jon Gorringe

3

2

Colston Nichols

6

Roger    Hakes

11

Iain    Read

4

3

Will Bedford

6

Mike Atkinson

12

David  Hartgill

4

4

Roberta Hartley

7

Iain         Read

23

Gary Wakefiled

4

5

Pete Taylor

11

Bob    Cudmore

28

Bob Cudmore

6

Sailing has continued apace at the club, and it is pleasing to see some new names fighting for podium places, although it must be acknowledged that the Monday

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and Saturday Series are at an early stage. Nevertheless, Nick Morgan has been threatening the usual Monday leaders for some time now. Regular readers will also note that for several months I have been tipping David Hartgill for greatness – it’s just taking a bit longer than I thought that’s all! Will Bedford is at the youthful and fitter end of the fleet. When you couple skill to those other attributes, it is no surprise to see him doing well. I can’t leave this round –up without a mention for my old mate, Gary Wakefield (2nd in this issue!). Someone close to my heart and also in a position of leadership in the fleet commented to me the other day, “I see Gary has finally learnt how to hike”. Well, we can all see the difference it makes Gary: long may it continue.

IF anyone had ever said to me that Andrew Hartley was a ‘pot hunter’, I’d have been the first to jump to his defence, (admittedly not very high or quickly these days!), but when you are faced with the evidence below it is hard to dispute this seemingly scurrilous assertion. This could be the year when Andrew leaves the awards evening with more ‘chocolates’ than someone else in his family, namely        ——- (name redacted for health & safety reasons – ed.)

TROPHY WINNERS

Perisher

Andrew Hartley

Monday Part 1

Bob Cudmore

Saturday Spring

Bob Cudmore

Saturday Spring Mini Series

Roger Hakes

Wareham Race

Andrew Hartley

Round The Islands

Ann Keates

Swanage Race

Andrew Hartley

 

ANDREW’S progress to victory in the Swanage race was relatively serene, although, at one stage the spectre of being caught by Roberta, sailing with a radial rig, did raise its head. The long and difficult to read beat from Old Harry to the moveable in Swanage bay suited the likes of David Hartgill and Stuart Purchase who powered past Roberta to finish in 2nd and 3rd place respectively. I impressed myself by finishing the race (my second go in 22 years!), only to be told that last year’s Swanage race was even further than this one. Like the guys in Jaws, I think I need a bigger boat!

SO, what’s been happening a little further down the fleet? Eve Kennedy had a successful Monday evening (18/07) looking very impressive sailing herself to 6th and 4th in the two races. Trevor Annels’ appearances haven’t been as regular as usual this month but he did manage a podium finish (3rd) in a Wednesday night sail (22/6). Nigel Holland has continued to show a very high level of persistence and has been rewarded with several single figure finishes in the Saturday Summer Series. But taking the honours, for recording his first victory since getting back on the water, is Pete Taylor (1st in the first Monday night race on Monday 18th July).

SAILORS OF THE MONTH

APRIL

Mark Scott

MAY

Bob Cudmore

JUNE

Trevor Annels

JULY

Pete Taylor

FOR this reason, Pete is awarded our sailor of the month prize for July! He joins a star studded list:

 

 

 

 

 

FINALLY, BZs are due to Bob Cudmore for running a fantastic training session with the help of Mark Scott and budding camera man, Gary Hind, who still thinks it’s better for his back to sit on a bone shaking bike while he rides over myriad obstacles placed in his way by kindly race organisers- how does that work Gary?

Sail fast and fair,

 

Ann & John

June Newsletter from Commanding Officer and Dog Robber

AM I alone in thinking that’s it is ironic that in the same month as the country has voted to leave the EU, 72 years ago, hundreds of thousands of allied soldiers fought a desperate struggle to make Europe a safer place: I wonder how they are reacting to today’s news about our unplanned Brexit?

SAILING news pales into insignificance really but if you feel the same way as  me, after the endless debating period, a little light relief probably wouldn’t go amiss. As ever, the sailing amongst the fleet is tight. I have included below a selection of results for your delectation. If you require more detailed information, you can find it, of course, on the Laser Fleet website.


MONDAY

The contest for top honours looks close; I wonder if Bob has done enough? The scrap for 4th place is even closer, and if the ‘head screwed on’ Colston turns up, Courtenay may have to work hard for his 7th place. I’m involved in a similar struggle with Richard Strang but sadly we’re both not quite fast enough to get into the abbreviated version of the results!

 

 

 

 


WEDNESDAY
 

Some familiar names here but not always in the positions we’ve become accustomed to seeing them in. I think there have been more results than this but I know that there has been some disruption caused by unco-operative winds and tides.

 


SATURDAY

It’s nice to see an old friend’s name appearing on the honours board – We’d hoped to see more of Andrew Hartley as a result of him no longer having to travel to London each day but the rigours of exams for the almost the entire family have kept him away.

Congratulations to both Bob Cudmore and Trevor Annels who appear in the top ten of each of the series.

AWAY from the club, the Laser Masters National Championship has been held at Hayling Island over the long week-end of 24th-26th of June. 6 of our most successful sailors went to pit their wits against the best in the country! Just to remind you, the event is divided by rig, (Standard & Radial), and those two categories are sub-divided by age, (see the table below for clarification):

Apprentice Master

35-44

Master

45-54

Grand Master

55-64

Great Grand Master

65-74

Legend

75+

 

 
 

I can’t believe which box I’m in and even worse, which box I’m going into next year!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

67 Radial sailors sailed in at least one race and there were 54 Standards. This is how our intrepid group fared:

Roger (S)

AM

9th

Roger has the honour of winning one of the races (race 5),  but I’ll be interested to hear what he made of the fact that the winner of the overall event in the Standard division (with 40pts) was a Grand Master! I’m sure coming 2nd Apprentice Master will help soothe the pain of losing to an older man! Bob ended up as 5th Master.

Ann was 1st Lady overall and, therefore, of course 1st Grand Master Lady. Roberta was 1st Lady Master.

 

               

 

76pts

 

Bob (S)

M

12th

100pts

Andrew (S)

M

16th

115pts

Mark (S)

M

43rd

254pts

Ann (R)

GM

19th

137pts

Roberta (R)

M

20th

148pts

 

Conditions were very challenging with waves, wind and electrical storms to contend with. The latter element led to very poor visibility which might help to explain why Bob, Andrew and Mark all failed to find their way to the finish in Race 5. Had they been closer to Roger they could have followed him home!

Roger receiving his prize for finishing 2nd Apprentice Master.

 

 

Sail fast and fair,

Ann & John

 

Ps Our sailor for the month of June is Trevor Annels – awarded for consistent improvement in both the long and short formats of our game!  

 

SAILORS OF THE MONTH

APRIL

Mark Scott

MAY

Bob Cudmore

JUNE

Trevor Annels

April and May Newsletter

From Commanding Officer and Dog Robber

 

SHARP eyed readers will see what I’ve done here! I’d like to say that like St George I was busy fighting dragons during April and, therefore couldn’t write the newsletter. But, just like Saint George, I’ve never even seen a dragon let alone fought one! I did promise you that there would be more to write about sailing than in previous editions: so here goes.

ACCORDING to Baron de Coubertin, “The important thing …..is not to win, but to take part; the important thing in life is not triumph, but the struggle; the essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.” That is going to be small comfort for Courtenay Suckling, who for several Mondays in a row managed to capsize – not that tragic you might think, except that this latest one occurred ¾ of the way through the race when he was ‘miles’ in the lead. Oh dear! A rumour is circulating that he was distracted by the committee boat mentioning notions of ‘victory sex’, not that I’d know much about that, not having won a race since I was Courtenay’s age.  A truer version could be that our amiable antipodean might well have been dizzy after all the turns he’d had to do for hitting various marks around the course. I think the advice he was given about taking marks like a slalom skier may well not have been the wisest!

There were some other sailors out on Monday nights and this is how the top ten looks:

Position

Name

Position

Name

1

Bob Cudmore

6

Roberta Hartley

2

Mark Scott

7

Andrew Taylor

3

Ann Keates

8

Mike Kuzyk

4

Tim Alder

9

Trevor Annels

5

Courtenay Suckling

10

Colston Nichols

 

 

There’s some new names at the top and a few whom you will recognise may well be looking to improve their results. Monday racing figures are pretty good with about 20 boats getting on the water for each race. We’ve had eight races so far (May22nd), and this has resulted in six different winners already. We’ll be aiming to do another Big Monday this year so watch this space. It’s getting warmer and the longer evenings are with us, so it really is time to join us – the changing rooms appear to be for our personal use on Monday nights!

WEDNESDAY racing already has a familiar feel to it with Roger, Ann, Bob, Iain and Mike taking the top five spots respectively. However, all is not what it seems since a number of race results have been influenced by the inability of some of our more experienced racers to correctly identify the next mark of the course. This has led to both Mike and Pete T throwing away respectable leads by heading off for a more attractive but less accurate ‘proper course’. Incidentally, you might like to refresh your memory regarding the definition of a ‘proper course’. In my research for writing this article (yes, I do carry out research!), I was surprised to find out that there are only three occasions when the term ‘proper course’ has meaning. They are:

*Rule 18: Mark-Room

*Rule 17: Overtaking to leeward …

*Rule 23: Interfering with another boat.

(rule numbers may not be up to date?)

On Wednesdays, 22 boats have sailed at least once, (or done a duty) but the poor start to our summer may be having its effect since average turnout is about 10. However, that still makes us healthier than most fleets in terms of numbers on the water. New names appearing on the score sheet are: L46, James Coupe and L192829, Mark Calvert: welcome to both.

SATURDAY racing has already included two opportunities to bag a trophy. No surprise then that the big names have already been in the hunt! Andrew Hartley secured the first of these, ‘The Wareham Trophy’, which might make up for his problems in the same race last year when he, too, had some difficulty in locating the relevant mark for his correct passage around the Wareham Channel! The first of our three scheduled mini series took place on May 7th and it was a very hard fought out affair. The biggest battle was between the Race Officer, (your Commanding Officer), who was determined to provide six races in  two hours, and some disbelieving old stagers who felt she had no chance of accomplishing this. Well, as you might expect, the old stagers lost the argument but there was some collateral damage in the battle in that anyone finishing lower down than about third had only a tiny, tiny rest period between races. However, when I foolishly pointed this out to my commanding officer the reply was, “Well, you wouldn’t get a rest in a two hour Saturday race would you”. I reckon my wife would be a match in court for Rumpole himself! Enough of this self pity! The series was won by virtue of some impressively consistent sailing by Roger Hakes. Iain Reid had to suffer 1st loser position again – you’re getting to be a bit old for a bridesmaid Iain! Six races with five different winners shows what a hard fought competition it was – well done to everyone and to the Race Officer and her able assistant, James Hartley.

After four races (up to May7th) the top five are: Roger, Iain, Andrew, Mike and Roberta. But things could have been very different if Ann, Mike and Colston hadn’t at some stage, fallen into the same trap as those mentioned previously; namely, temporarily sailing the wrong course- actually, Ann   achieved a more permanent error, meaning she had to retire from first place! Observant readers will have noticed that one name appears on both lists – I‘ll leave you to draw your conclusions!

IT is some time ago now that we completed the Perisher series, although the weather remains similar. So, somewhat belated congratulations are due to one Andrew Hartley who endured another very closely fought campaign with Roger Hakes and Mike Atkinson. Andrew secured his victory by a miserly three points

To complete this round up, two sailors are deserving of further mention. Our sailors of the month for April and May are Mark Scott and Bob Cudmore respectively. Mark gets his mention for topping the Monday night series for nearly two weeks! Bob’s mention derives from his consistently quick sailing in a variety of breeze. Currently Bob lies 6th in the Saturday Series, 3rd in Wednesday Series and 1st in the Monday Series. I refer you to Matthew 13:12 for my thoughts about that!

IT WOULDN’T BE the proper newsletter without a reminder to use the fleet’s web site to help you to keep up to date with Parkstone Laser Fleet matters. For example, you can find there information about the upcoming Laser Masters nationals at Hayling Island.

The address is: www.parkstonelasers.org.uk

Sail fast and fair,

 

Ann & John

 

 

St George is patron saint not only of England but also of Aragon, Catalonia, Ethiopia, Georgia, Greece, Lithuania, Palestine, Portugal, and Russia, as well as the cities of Amersfoort, Beirut, Bteghrine, Cáceres, Ferrara, Freiburg, Genoa, Ljubljana, Gozo, Pomorie, Qormi, Lod and Moscow.

 

He most definitely wasn’t English and his actual name was Georgios (the farmer of the land).

March 2016 Newsletter from Commanding Officer and Dog Robber

 

THE IDES OF MARCH have come and gone: much to the relief of Roman Emperors no doubt, but what about our sailing deities, how have they fared?

IN THE PERISHER, things are hotting up. With 4 scheduled races left, it couldn’t be tighter. 12 races sailed have produced 6 different winners, two of whom share the same surname – can you guess the name? The top three have accumulated three wins each, and, as you can see from the table below, they are separated by just one point. Andrew has the lowest total score of the entire fleet (37), which gives him an average finishing position of 3.08, but 4 more 3rd places might not be good enough to place him at the head of the pack. My goodness it’s tough at the top – I’m almost glad I’m never there! 28 sailors have done at least one race so far.

Rank

Helm

R1

R2

R3

R4

R5

R6

R7

R8

R9

R10

R11

R12

N

1

Roger

 

 

5

3

1

1

 

 

2

2

1

5

10

2

Mike

6

1

2

9

5

3

1

3

7

9

5

1

11

3

Andrew

3

2

3

1

6

4

3

1

1

5

4

4

11

4

Jon

1

3

16

9

2

2

 

 

 

 

2

3

13

5

Colston

2

4

12

9

8

5

6

4

9

10

14

2

23

 

THE LASER FLEET’S annual celebration of our successful colleagues almost passed off without incident- but not quite. If you were there, you will know what I mean. If you weren’t, you’ll have to dig for the dirt: I’m not going to reveal it. Brian Drake and his partner Aly were our guests for the evening, the latter presenting the prizes. There were some familiar names on the prize winners’ list, with Mike bagging his usual haul of trophies. It was difficult to award the Snafu trophy this year since, despite the odd attempt by yours truly and Colston to win the thing, there were no prolonged disasters on the water. Therefore, we took the unprecedented step of awarding the trophy to someone who regularly ‘enjoyed’ ‘on-the-land’ snafus, culminating in a magnificent debacle at the Poole Week evening prize draw – so thanks Gary for helping us out!

DON’T FORGET TO ENTER Poole Week before April 8th. This will save you a considerable amount of cash. I realise, of course, that some of us won’t be able to decide until much nearer the date, but if you’re in a position to commit now – go ahead and save yourself enough money to make your après sailing expenses just a little lighter.

 

THE EASTER SERIES is imminent, (not quite in the weather forecast sense). Hopefully, you will have received an e-mail with some details about the event. The essential thing, from the club’s point of view, is that boats will have to be taken home after the event – unless, of course, you have a Perisher sticker on your boat.

THE SATURDAY SERIES starts on the 16th of April, so you can bring your boat back for that. The Wednesday series starts on the 20th April.

 

THE MONDAY SERIES starts on the 18th of April. This first evening of the series will be pushed for light so make sure (if work permits?) that you give yourself time to get on the water. We will be starting on time – 7.00 pm with two fairly swift races to follow.

The club has instructed us to allocate two duties to each Laser sailor who has entered a series and/or has a boat in the yard, by using Duty Man. You were given the opportunity to provide us with dates that were no good for you. This hasn’t passed entirely smoothly, but hopefully, the emerging snags have been sorted out. Subsequent alterations will have to be made via Dutyman under your own steam. We can tell you how to do this if you need to know. These allocated duties are in addition to any Monday Night duties that you are asked to do by Ann and John. (Only those sailors taking part in the Monday Series will be required for duties but let us know if you’d like to volunteer).

I’ll finish off this newsletter by passing on some valuable advice I have been given by a friend concerning how those of the male persuasion facing, like me, advancing years, can improve their lot. The advice is simple and in three parts:

1) Never pass a toilet without going

2) Never trust a fart

3) Never waste an erection

Oh, the joys of old age!

IT WOULDN’T BE the proper newsletter without a reminder to use the fleet’s web site to help you to keep up to date with Parkstone Laser Fleet matters. For example, you can find there information about our next social event on April 23rd.

The address is: www.parkstonelasers.org.uk

Sail fast and fair,

 

Ann & John

January Newsletter from Command Officer and Dog Robber

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone: unless, of course, that is if you happen to be Chinese, in which case you haven’t got there yet. You may not know and, indeed, may not care, but Chinese New Year starts on February 8th and it’s the year of the Red Monkey. Actually, I think the Romans had it right when they decided to start the New Year in March. Who wants to start a new lot of twelve months with rainy old January? At least we’ve got the Perisher to look forward to.

THE PERISHER series begins on February 7th. In case you don’t know, it is an informal series run by the Laser Fleet along the lines of Monday night racing, i.e. two short races started by a ‘Gate Boat’, with the committee rib boat doubling up as rescue craft. Sailing Instructions can be found on our in-house web-site where you will also find entry forms off.

ONCE YOU’VE DIVESTED yourself of those extra Christmas Kgs. by sailing a few of the Perisher races, you’ll be in a much happier frame of mind for putting them back on by attending our annual prize giving and dinner. The annual dinner will, this year, take place at ‘Da Vinci’s ‘, on Poole Quay. More details will be sent out shortly, but, essentially, there will be a selection of fixed price menus. We will continue the tradition of providing some wine and soft drinks from fleet funds, but the duration of the flow of this liquid bounty will depend on the state of our finances; my advice, for what it’s worth is that it’s a good idea, on the night, to compliment the Commanding Officer on anything you might feel is relevant: after all, she holds the purse strings! The date of the dinner is February 27th. The cost will be £25.

IF YOU ARE IN POSSESSION of a trophy from last year, you have ignored the Commanding Officer’s instruction, which means that you are a braver man than me!  Please make sure that you return it to the main office at the club as soon as possible.

IN DECEMBER’S NEWSLETTER there was a mini competition. Peter Taylor correctly identified the three sailors involved but didn’t get them in the right order, so, close Pete, but no big cigar! The sailor who managed to achieve the feat of not having to count a DNC in all of the six major series was Mark Scott. The two who came close to this (5/6) were Colston and Ann.

HAYLEY, OUR SOCIAL SECRETARY, has kindly offered to provide you with an opportunity to show off your ten pin bowling skills. January 30th is scheduled for the event. If you’d like to perform, please let Hayley know via Facebook etc.

 

FINALLY, to round off our New Year’s theme, if you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume your parents started the New Year with a bang!

 

December Newsletter from Commanding Officer & Dog Robber

HAS THE FORCE AWAKENED YOU YET? This is actually edition 13 of the newsletter saga rather than episode 7 of that well known franchise, coming soon to a cinema near you no doubt. If the Christmas festivities haven’t put you into soporific mode, you might like to remind yourself of the days when you were still energetic!


THE WINTER SERIES, yes that one that was warmer than Poole Week, is now over. A series that was scheduled for 12 races when only 6 races were sailed tells its own sorry story. However, it does show that the heart of our fleet is made of the right stuff, when you consider that our average turnout was over 15! Below is the printed result sheet for all those who managed a series: an achievement in itself! Your Commanding Officer ended in top spot- I remember reading somewhere in the Bible about the rich getting richer etc!

 

Commiserations to Iain Reid – the winds were against him on that last Sunday. BZs to Martin Lunn who was faced with a four hour round trip each time he turned up! Joint honours for sailing every race go to Nick Morgan, Donald and John; the latter takes the extra plaudit of having the lowest total score – surely there should be a mug for that John?

IF YOUR BOAT is in the yard and you haven’t obtained a perisher sticker from Ann, you either know people in high places in the club, or 2016 is going to start more expensively than you thought- we did warn you about this by the way!

THE PERISHER STARTS on February 7th. We’re supposed to be away ski-ing on that date but unless the global warming deniers can pull something out of the bag we might be forced to stay in sunless Dorset, (to be fair you can’t often write that about Dorset). If we do get away, organisational duties on that first Sunday are being carried out by Mark Scott. Look out for him in the boat park: he’s the one with the halo around his head!

FINALLY, a little quiz for you to work on during non-racing January; considering the six major series; Mondays, Saturday Spring & Summer, Wednesday, Wednesday Twilight and the Winter series. Two sailors achieved a full series in 5 out of 6 of them;(50% discards available, apart from Wed. Twilight): can you name them? One sailor stands out from the crowd as having achieved a full series in all six series: can you name him?

 

Sail fast and fair,

Ann & John

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